Few things in this world terrify me more than the drop-off loop at my daughter’s elementary school. Does this seem like a silly fear? I know it sounds ridiculous, but let me explain. Every year, parents turn to social media to vent their frustrations about dropping their children off at school using the drop-off loop. They say mean and often underhanded things about parents who do not manage to get their young children out of the car quickly enough. Sometimes these comments are stated in humorous ways, but the message is always loud and clear. For over 2 years, I allowed these comments to stop me from using the drop-off loop, due to fear of being judged by other parents if I was not quick enough.
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe” Proverbs 29:25. I learned recently in the bible study, Opening Your Heartby Lisa Brenninkmeyer that, “A snare strangles our freedom. It causes us to crave approval and fear rejection, and puts people in a place meant for God alone.”
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live my life craving the approval of others and allowing fear of rejection to dictate my actions. I want to live my life for God alone, and follow His will in my life, not the will of someone else.
Now, I don’t believe it is necessarily a bad thing to want to please other people. I personally find a lot of joy in serving others and doing things to make them happy. However, if we know what is pleasing to God, and we act counter to that to please another human, then we are not living for Christ. We are placing that person in the place meant for God alone, no matter how big or how small the action.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10.
This school year, I mustered up the courage, and with anxiety pulsing through every vein of my body, attempted the dreaded drop off loop. Gradually over time, the fear and anxiety I once felt began to subside, and I experienced freedom from this snare. That is, until this morning.
My 1stgrader was taking longer than normal to exit the car. My preschooler had his feet extended out so that his sister could not get past him to get out. They began to fight. The line of cars behind me was growing by the second. The social media comments played on repeat in my head, and the fear and anxiety of being judged and rejected by those in line behind me filled my mind. Out of desire to please these individuals and be a “good parent in the drop off loop,” I lost my patience and screamed at my children. I forced my son’s feet down and hurried my daughter out of the car.
As I pulled away, my preschooler crying, he expressed to me that he wanted a hug and kiss from his sister before she got out of the car, which is why he was blocking her exit. In my angst, I exchanged a potential loving interaction between siblings for a fight, all because I was seeking to serve and please people instead of God. How would have this interaction looked had I been focused on pleasing God rather than the unnamed individuals behind me in line? I can say with confidence that there would have been less yelling and more love. Less anxiety and more patience.
As a mom, I know that God calls me to be patient, and kind, and gentle. I was none of those things. In that moment, I acted contrary to how God was calling me to act in order to try to please people. People who never even placed the expectation on me, but due to social media comments, I projected those expectations on myself. Don’t you love our modern world? As a result, my joy was stolen, I did not follow Christ, and I missed out on the good that was possible in that moment.
Now, it is very likely that you do not fear the drop off loop at your child’s school. That’s just one of the many snares of trying to please others that has caused me to falter. But I would bet that there IS someone you are trying to please by meeting their expectations, whether they have been expressed or not. Perhaps this is your spouse, your boss, a friend, or even an acquaintance. I strongly encourage you to examine these expectations and your desire to gain the person’s approval. Are you allowing pleasing them to take precedence over striving for the approval of God? Ask yourself, “By pleasing this person, in this way, would Christ also be pleased?” “Am I forfeiting God’s approval for the approval of this person?” Only then can we truly realize how the snare of trying to please people can strangle our freedom in Christ.
I pray today that you will choose to place Christ first in your life and seek his approval above all else. That despite the inevitable failures and setbacks, you will experience the freedom found in Christ Jesus, and that the next time you are faced with pleasing someone else in the drop-off loop of life, that you choose to respond in a manor that is pleasing to God.
Beautifully said!