God’s Strength is Greater Than My Perfectionism

Do you ever have days where you just feel like you are failing at everything you do? One unmet expectation or mistake leads to the next, and before you know it, you have a narrative of negative comments running through your mind such as, “I’m so stupid! How could have I done that? I suck at life! I am a terrible mother.” And then you begin to believe those lies that the enemy is feeding you. Your day spirals and you begin to feel as though you cannot do anything right. You are worthless.

I just had a week like that, and it was not pretty. I pray that I am alone in this experience, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not as alone as I should be. 

Our family moved a few weeks ago, and while we are starting to settle nicely into our new home, it has not been an easy few weeks and I have fallen short many times. I missed the deadline for my daughter’s weekly field trip at her summer camp. I tried to be patient with my children as they adjusted to the new summer routine and new home, but my patience is short and I often ended up yelling.  I tried to keep the house clean, but with two kids, a busy schedule, and a broken washing machine, I fell short. I will spare you my laundry list of “failures,” but it just seemed to be one thing after the next that kept going wrong and I wasn’t measuring up to my own expectations.

While none of these things are that life shattering, you would not have known that from my reactions. I found that over the past week I have been reacting disproportionately to the things happening in my life. There were tears when there should not have been. There was yelling, when patience and kindness were warranted. There was negative self-talk, when there should have been grace and understanding. 

As I was reflecting on this behavior, I was struggling to figure out why my reactions were so off this past week. I certainly wasn’t acting like myself or the women God created me to be, but why? 

And then it dawned on me, I am not relying on God. I am trying to manage everything “perfectly” on my own. But there is a HUGE problem with that! It is a very unrealistic expectation! 

What God put on my heart tonight is that He does not call us to be perfect or in perfect control. We are called to rely on Him, He who is perfect and in perfect control of our circumstances, large and small. I love that our God, the creator of the universe, cares about the smallest details of our lives. Isn’t that just beautiful?

Over the last several weeks I have fallen into the trap of distraction and I have taken my eyes off of Jesus. My focus has fallen on all of the things I needed to do with the move, and I have begun to believe that I need to do it all on my own, and if by chance I am unable to do so or I make a mistake, that means I failed.  But that is the furthest things from the truth.

So, if by chance you are going through a similar season, week, day or moment in life, I would invite you to join me in turning your eyes back to Jesus. Recognizing that in each moment and situation, He is in control and that we can call on His strength to help us. 

Dear Lord, we know that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. We pray that you would fill us with your strength, dear Lord, to be able to accomplish those tasks you have set before us. And we pray that when things do not go as we plan, that you will gently remind us that you are in control and that your plans for us are good. Let us never take our eyes off of you Lord. We love you and we thank you, for you are so good. We pray all these things in Jesus’ name. 

Whatever your day looks like, may it be blessed as you turn your eyes to Jesus and rely on His strength.